Tiktoker CoCo Sheir, social media video short

“No longer relevant actress, Cheryll Woodlynn gives us the laugh we didn’t know we needed. She’s playing a 38 year old virgin, (would you believe it?) caught up in a love triangle, in hopes of marriage and baby, before she turns forty. It’s an off off Broadway play (wink wink) but I promise you, the extra twenty minutes it will take in travel, not to mention the cost of parking, if you can find a spot, will be well worth the watch. Who knows how long this play will be running for: you know how fragile her ego is. I was thinking about hosting a hate-watch party at my favorite spot but wasn’t sure if anyone would attend. Let me know, in the comments, if you’re interested.”

Cheryl’s niece sent her the TikTok video with a text, “you’re so popular with Gen Z.”

“Thanks hon, but I don’t want to be popular in that way. Besides, my generation knew how to shade with a touch of class. And, shouldn’t you be tending to that newborn baby? How are your nibbles today?”

“Uhm. Can we not have the nibble talk today. Ttyl.”

Cheryl thought on it for a minute then sent a heart emoji.

Cheryl decided to slide into the tiktoker’s comments to give her a piece of her mind.

“I see you are not from my generation and don’t understand the concept of acting, but that is why it is called acting. Who I am in my personal life is not who I am on stage. The play is clearly not autobiographical, darling.”

Before Cheryl could reverse pedal her comments, viewers responded quickly with questions and responses about her audacity to play a virgin at her age and given her history.   

One commenter wrote,

“I searched for a biography about this actress. Not a single one found.” With a “page could not be found” GIF attached to the comment.

“All I could find were interviews of other actors on late night shows talking about Cheryl Woodlynn. But it’s the same here, no autobiography. Hmmm.”

“I found this list on the dark web. It says it I s a comprehensive list of her past lovers but who could be sure. Since you’re in the convo, Ms. Woodlynn, can you at least confirm or deny the names on this list?”

The tiktoker, Sheir highlighted the attached list. It had thirty names of men who she was rumored to have bed over the years.

Cheryl decided to stop reading the comments and log out of TikTok entirely.

The next day, she received a call from John as she was getting ready for a lunch meeting with a potential buyer.

“Glad you’re up bright and early today. Great news.”

“What do you want?” Cheryl said, unhappy.

“You got an offer. I’m not even going to talk money until the end. And before you say no, you should seriously consider it.”

“Consider what?”

“I don’t know if you’ve seen what’s been happening on TikTok but, social media is going crazy guessing who your past lovers are.”

“And?”

“If I could make a dollar off of every comment I could put my son through college: maybe not university but definitely community college.”

“Is there a point you are making?”

“Yes. Your personal life is more viable than your face on the big screen. I know you want to get back to the movies but the public is more interested in your past lovers.”

“My past lovers? Why would anyone be interested in that? That’s old news.”

“Old news is now new news. I found a publisher. They want you to write a memoir.”

“A memoir. I’ll never do that.”

Cheryl,” he used the tone adults use with children. “What did I ask you when I first started talking.”

She huffed and puffed. “John, you shouldn’t have asked. You know a tell-all is not my style.”

“Was not your style. You haven’t had a major role in two years and haven’t had a paycheck in the high five figures even longer. You can’t afford to say no to this.”

“But—“

“Before you finish, I have been on the phone with multiple publishers, working hard to get you the best offer. The least you can do is give this some real thought.”

“And how much did you negotiate for yourself?” She asked.

John hesitated.

“Uhh hmmm. That’s what I thought.”

“We don’t have to talk numbers right now. First, you need to decide who will be in the book and we need to go over names of entertainment lawyers to contact about NDAs and stuff like that. You know, we wouldn’t want to get sued or something.”

“Lawyers and lawsuits? What in heavens do you think I would put in a memoir?”

“Obviously, you have to give them something worth reading. I don’t know much about your love life. But there’s a lot on the web. A lot of speculation.” He paused.

Cheryl thought out loud. “Who do I want to upset? Who can I afford to fall out with? Hmmm. Who’s overdue for a breakup?”

“You can at least reveal who the father of your only child is? That’s worth six figures, I think.”

“Let me lunch on it,” Cheryl said.

“Not too long. I have to give an answer by 3pm today. Don’t worry though. If you don’t want to go with this publisher we have a few more interested parties. Stay in touch,” John ended the call.

Later that afternoon, Cheryl picked her son up from school. On the car ride home, she asked him, “are things improving in school?”

“Yeah. I guess so,” he muttered.

“Really,” she perked up. “What changed? Did you make friends?” She tapped him on the leg. “Go on, tell me. What happened?”

“It’s not a big deal. I just had lunch with some kids.”

Cheryl smiled as she drove them home. “Ok,” she said.

When she arrived at her building, her usual spot became available, as her neighbor was driving away.

As she began to parallel park, a woman approached her vehicle. The lady waited for her at the curb.

“Who is she?” Amir asked.

“I don’t know myself,” Cheryl said in a low voice.

They got out of the car and Amir said hello to the woman before walking towards the building.

“Hello, young man,” the woman said.

“Do I know you?” Cheryl asked.

“No.”

“Mom, can I wait in the building?”

“Yes, honey. Go inside.”

Cheryl grabbed the bags from the back seat, locked the car doors, then started approaching the woman.  

“I’m from Penwright Publishers,” the lady stuck her hand out for Cheryl to shake. When she saw that Cheryl’s hands were full she apologized. “My apologies. I can see your hands are full. May I grab a bag, or two and help you to the door?”

“I’m in no position to turn down that offer,” Cheryl handed the woman one of her bags. “Thank you.”

“I know you’re getting a lot of offers. I was hoping to take a moment of your time to talk about your story and what we can offer you in a publishing contract.”

“Wow. I haven’t had so much interest in say three years.”

The lady chuckled. “There’s a lot of attention around your love life right now. And I must say,” she nodded her head, “I don’t know how you managed to keep secret the father of your child. Everyone is speculating who he could be.”

‘My agent told me about all the fodder happening on social media.”

“Of course. We would like to offer you a publishing contract and…”

“Can I ask why you are talking to me and not my agent?”

“We did reach out to your agent and got no response. He’s probably sifting through the offers from major publishers. We just wanted to be considered. We are a smaller publisher and didn’t think your agent would even mention us with all the offers I’m sure he has gotten in the past day.”

“We had a brief conversation about the offers,” Cheryl acknowledged. “I have yet to make up my mind.”

“Understandable,” the lady gave her a steady smile. “I doubt you had time to take notice of the frenzy happening on social media. If it’s ok with you, I would like to bring you up to speed.”

“Please,” Cheryl continued walking to the entrance of her apartment building, “please do.”

The lady followed behind her “The Tiktoker that you had a spat with yesterday,” she waited for confirmation from Cheryl.

“Yes. How’s she doing?” Cheryl said in her phony voice.

“Uhm,” the lady was puzzled by the question but continued. “She asked her viewers if they would read a tell-all book from Cheryl Woodlynn. It got more than 200K interactions and over 50K comments.”

“Is that a good thing?” Cheryl played coy.

“A very good thing. It would be wise to get started on your memoir now, if you haven’t already. The public is practically demanding it.”

“You are one smart lady. I will do that. And when I decide on a publisher, I will let you know, through my agent.”

This is a continuation from an earlier post. You can check that one out on the Verses page.