Last year, I came across an ad for Natural Diamonds, that starred actress Gabrielle Union. In the advertisement, the former model radiates in minimal makeup and simplistic attire to tempt us into buying jewelry. As I watched her galivanting on the beach, smiling and prancing around, enjoying summer mode, I found myself picking apart her beauty.

There were no complaints to make but it reminded me of how harshly the public can judge stars, especially as they age. Union, who turns fifty-two on October 29th, is an understated, natural beauty, who needs little to compliment it. However, as I critiqued her beauty, it reminded me that there is more to an actress than her beauty. An actress is not on screen, merely to be beautiful; a capable actress can evoke emotions that go beyond viewers noticing her beauty.

This fact also reminded me of feedback I received for my debut novel, Girl Most Unlikely. In this story, we follow a twenty-something actress, named Georgia Banks, who is unsure of herself, and ambitious about her acting aspirations. We watch her stumble along as she tries to make it in Hollywood. Hopefully, readers can empathize with her situation–to some extent. Georgia is not some acclaimed actress, nor living legend who has been around long enough to not question her worth and capabilities.

What struck me most about the feedback I got from beta readers, is how they diagnosed her as a narcissist. Narcissistic? Interesting, I thought to myself. They came to that conclusion, because of the protagonist’ obsession with her weight and looks. It is her weight and looks that would get her hired or rejected for a role; her weight and looks play a role in her salary; her weight and looks also, would be noted by viewers who watch her act on screen.

It’s astounding that we the public absolve ourselves from the self-obsessive behaviors’ celebrities acquire over their careers, as if we did not contribute to those obsessive behaviors. Would millions, if not billions of people spend hours on Instagram if it were filled with pics of people–without filters–looking like the average people we know in our regular lives?

When a celebrity couple gets engaged, everyone wants to know the size of the diamond, how much it cost, how it compares to that celebrity’s perceived fortune. If a celebrity buys a home, it better not be some single-family, two-level home that simpletons reside in. If a celebrity goes for a grocery run, they better live up to the standards we placed on them, even if they only spend an hour outside, because after all–they are not like everyone else.

Yet, when readers find themselves observing Georgia Banks obsessing over every pound she gains and every hair out of place, they remain oblivious to the humility and roasting, they joined in on, to shame stars when they didn’t meet their standards. So, you tell me, who really is the narcissist in this story?